Lymond reading notes 6 – Game of Kings – The Play for Jonathan Crouch
1. Capture of Some Advancing Pieces
When talking to new readers (or indeed failed readers) on social media, we often reference this chapter – telling them that once they get to around 100 pages and meet a Spanish Captain then they’ll change their mind on everything that has confused them up till now. If you get this far then you’ll probably fall in love with both Lymond and the writing.
In some ways this chapter is much more straightforward than the earlier ones – lots of action – but in other ways it’s a delightful melange of intrigue and misdirection. Only this time it’s not so much us that’s being misdirected, it’s the other characters.
We start in Will Scott’s POV. He’s happy in his new outlaw life and has a new ambition –“ …to cast a shadow bigger, grander and more devastating than Lymond’s.” This rather sets the tone for what is to come and we may already suspect that he’s getting too big for his boots.
We get a review in his head of the characters of Lymond’s men, finishing with Mat and recalling a conversation they’d had about why Lymond had returned and how Mat put up with him. Then we hear more about Johnnie Bullo as well, before a description of how Lymond has formed the group and how he keeps them in line. This calm introduction belies the chaos to come.
Lymond returns, and we discover he’s been to the Ostrich – an inn just over the border towards Carlisle. It appears he’s been dealing with messengers, no doubt gathering intelligence, but that there was also another encounter where he “rescued” a nobleman called John Maxwell. In fact it was a setup where some of his own men pretended to attack Maxwell and were then fought off by the other half of his men – thus putting Maxwell in his debt and establishing a relationship which will develop further in the future.
‘The Master of Maxwell,’ said Lymond, ‘is an important personage entirely surrounded by English. D’you play chess?’
‘Then you should recognise an opening for smothered mate.’
Will and Mat tell him that the men are restless. After initially appearing not to care, he laughs and asks for suggestions on whose house they could raid. Mat suggests a few reasonable targets but Will has greater ambitions and mentions Hume Castle. Lymond dissuades him by describing the new fortifications and that they would be outnumbered 4 to 1.
They call a meeting of the whole band at which Lymond first criticises the men and warns them about future conduct, before then asking for volunteers for a raid, which he’s clearly already planned, on a supply train from Roxburgh to Hume carrying a month’s supply of beer amongst other things.
Turkey shook his head. ‘Listen. He’s had it planned for days.’ He sighed.
‘Man, man: he can play them like a chanter.’
2. Sudden Danger for a Passed Pawn
They intercept the wagons by using hill ponies, all stallions, to turn the train’s mares skittish before riding in themselves and subduing the escort. The prisoners include a Spanish captain. The train is split as agreed, but instead of taking the unwanted ones near to Melrose as instructed, Will Scott takes them to Hume.
At Hume, Lord Grey is in charge, but is not happy – he was injured in the mouth by a billhook at the Battle of Pinkie and as a result is lisping heavily; all his ess’s coming out as th’s. (This injury is historical, and Dorothy makes wonderful use of it.)
It is clear they are very short of supplies and are suffering from soldiers deserting because of it. In the middle of a tirade about this problem, where the lisp trips him up constantly, he utters the immortal line:
Hell and perdithion!’
‘Ith there no word in the Englith language wanting an Eth?’
Then Will Scott arrives, in the guise of Mr Taylor, having brought some of the supply wagons. He deals effectively with Grey’s questions and then tells him he has a verbal message for him from London – for his ears only. This is a trick to get Grey alone and capture him, although Grey insists that Dudley, a cousin of the Earl of Warwick, remains.
At that moment one of the wagons explodes as planned, and as Grey and Dudley are distracted Will attacks them. Dudley is stunned but Grey is an experienced fighter and uses a wrestling trick that Will doesn’t know to break free and call for help – though ‘Help! Guard! Athathinth!’ wasn’t perhaps an entirely suitable choice of words!
Nevertheless, having lost the element of surprise, Will is overwhelmed and somewhat beaten up, and his men arrested. Grey and Dudley then attempt to get Will to talk, during which he takes more punishment, though adrenaline softens the pain initially. He even impudently mimics Grey’s lisp and gets a belt buckle across the mouth for it.
Grey discusses the situation of the lost stores – food, ammunition, money, and beer – and sends for replacements and to discover what he can about the theft. He tells Will that he and his men will be executed tomorrow as spies as there isn’t enough food to go around. Will tells him his men are mercenaries and will fight for him, but Grey reminds him that there is now no money to pay them.
Will is locked up and realises that he’s blundered badly and will be responsible for the death of his men, and that if Grey knew who he was he’d be used as leverage against his father, and is resigned to dying.
He’s relied on a single trick and been unable to convert it, and has no plan B or any idea of how to escape. His earlier confidence and ambition is revealed to be rather misplaced and he appears rather immature and inexperienced in some important ways.
Rescue arrives in unexpected form
Two carts are retrieved by a search party, with the English troops who were ambushed, stripped and tied. Dudley finds there is some beer and some ammunition and reports to Grey, in the middle of which a visitor bursts into the room, shouting vehemently in Spanish.
The door burst open, the tapestries flapped, and a human tornado, enveloped in a whorl of depot-stamped canvas and trailed by protesting soldiers, erupted into the room.
His expensive clothes are ruined or stolen and he’s been tarred and feathered on his lower legs. “and even Lord Grey had to admit the magnificence of his rage.”
They get him sat down with a bowl of hot water to melt the tar, and some mulled wine, and suggest he speaks to Myles, who speaks Spanish. At which point we get the unforgettable line:
The caballero was displeased. ‘But,’ he said with some hauteur, ‘I speak the Scottish perfecto.’
His announces himself as:
‘Don Luis Fernando de Cordoba y Avila, leader of the captured supply train’
refers to his illustrious relatives, mentions the Emperor with little sign of reverence, and then his career in fighting. He utters the proverb:
‘Un hidalgo no debe a otro que a Dios, y al Rei nada.’
‘A nobleman owes nothing to anyone but God, and nothing to the King’
Which is a pretty strong statement. No doubt it is intended to amplify his own importance but it would be rather controversial, if not downright dangerous, if heard by a monarch.
Myles goes to translate but Grey says ‘I can gueth.’
Whereupon we get another immortal line:
‘De veras,’ said Don Luis politely. ‘My Lordship has the true Spanish lisp of Castile. His Spanish sin dude is as much good as the mine.’
By now most of us are probably either doubled up with laughter or have our jaws dropping at the sheer effrontery of what is happening.
Every line around this point is perfectly written to expand on the flamboyance of this amazing character. If we’ve had time to think at all in the whirlwind of action and dialogue then there can be only one explanation of his identity, though you could easily be forgiven for not grasping it immediately on first read. It is all too easy to be swept along and just enjoy the ride.
But surely, in the midst of laughing, we now greatly extend our admiration for both character and author if we had any doubts previously.
Surprisingly we now find him revealing who Will Scott is, which seems a risky strategy:
‘This terrible Señor Huile! Lead me to him!’
‘Señor … Wait a moment,’ said Grey sharply.
Don Luis paused in the midst of a characteristic rush to the door.
Grey said, ‘You don’t by any chanth know how the leader wath called?’
‘But of course!’ said Don Luis simply. ‘Do you not? It is Don Huile del Escocia.’
‘Don …’ Dudley suddenly experienced a terrible nostalgia for the King’s English, unadorned. ‘He can’t be called that. He’s a Scotsman.’
…
‘And the patronimico,’ continued Don Luis with undiminished helpfulness.
‘It is del Escocia, of Scot.’
‘Thcot!’ said Grey. His face suddenly lightened. ‘Wait a moment. Thcott! That’th Buccleuch’th name. Huile – It’th the Thpanith pronunthiathion, idiot, not the Englith. What thoundth like Huile … Will! Will Thcott! Buccleuch’th oldetht son!’
‘Idiota?’ said Don Luis stiffly, picking out the insult unerringly from the maze of multisyllables. His feet, a tarry mound, were ringed with pools of water from the cloak, and his eyes were narrowed at Grey. ‘Idiota?’
Was ever a scene so perfectly created with such a mixture of melodrama and humour? It is further amplified as Mr Myles tries to use his Spanish knowledge to calm Don Luis, but mistakenly uses the word ‘embarazar’ – which means to get pregnant.
Don Luis, now regarding Lord Grey with unconcealed curiosity.
We can only imagine how much Dorothy must have enjoyed dropping that one in.
Shortly after as they try to arrange new clothing for him:
There was a pause. Then the Spanish gentleman said, very distinctly, ‘I do not hear aright. I trust one does not ask me to wear clothes of the common soldier with, no doubt, the louse?’
Will is brought up later, once clothes have been supplied by Lord Grey himself, and Don Luis, staying true to character, walks over to him and looks him in the eye with his cornflower blue eyes, so that Will (and we) realises for sure who he really is, and slaps or punches him in the mouth, while producing a Spanish saying:
‘Aunque manso tu sabuesso, no le muerdas en el beco.’
‘Even if your hound is tame, don’t bite it on the muzzle.’
Or alternatively
Though your bloodhound be gentle, don’t bite him on the lip.
To which Will replies
‘Hay un otro, Señor Luis. Ruin señor cria ruin servidor.’
“There’s another one, Mr. Luis. A vile master breeds a vile servant.”
Will realises that they now know his name. But before he can consider the implications of that Don Luis ‘observes’ that Will is about to faint and Will takes the hint and falls.
Instead of taking him back to his cell, Don Luis then strongly suggests that he and his men immediately take Will and his men to Berwick, thus relieving the issue of feeding both his men and the prisoners, and after some discussion this is agreed, Everyone is finding Don Luis’ presence rather tiring, which is no doubt why Lymond is doing it!
Don Luis bowed. Woodward bowed. Myles bowed. Grey bowed.
‘I depart,’ said Don Luis magnificently. ‘For the hospitality, for the food, for the beer, for the horses, for the clothing, a million embracings. My dear lord; my dear sir; my dear gentlemen.’ Everybody bowed again. ‘Adiós!’ said Don Luis, and left the room.
A magnificent exit! Zorro himself could hardly have done better.
After they’ve gone and Grey and Dudley are discussing the affair over a glass of wine, another of the wagons blows up, and on investigation the other one with the beer is found to contain only brackish water. A note is found that translates as ‘All is not gold that glisters’ – a final flamboyant flourish.
On the way back Will discovers to his initial disbelief that Lymond had given the men a choice of staying with him or going with Will – predicting that he would go to Hume against orders.
Meeting up with Mat they pause, and we get:
‘S’wounds,’ said Mat. He eyed Scott’s face. ‘It looks to me as if someone has sat on our William.’
While Lymond says:
‘Barbarossa! We are covered with admiration. An actor manqué, my dear, to convince them so thoroughly that you expected to perish directly. You have had,’ he said inquiringly, ‘a little accident to the mouth?’
which the men hear and take at face value. Will realises that Lymond has predicted his foolishness, told his men of the plan, then has rescued him at considerable risk, while taking the opportunity to punish him, and then humiliated him by allowing his men to think him a hero while he knows he’s been thoroughly outmanoeuvred and can’t tell anyone the truth.
We’ve been given excitement, humour, a further insight into the depth and complexity of Lymond’s thinking, and crucially an additional insight into his love of flamboyant theatrics. We are seeing a complex multi layered character develop and it’s being done in a way that makes you realise that nothing is ever quite what it seems!
And, if we hadn’t already realised, that our author has a wicked sense of humour!
– – –
One additional point of history
I read in the comments of a blog post some years ago that a reader had been researching events of the period, and it turned out that there had indeed been a Spanish captain fighting for the English in that area at the time. It seems certain that Dorothy had found that fact in her own research and had turned it adroitly for her own purposes!
A note about Dorothy’s language skills
At one point Alastair had to go to America for an extended business trip, so Dorothy decided to take the opportunity to go to Spain for six weeks and learn the language, which she seems to have done quite successfully. I dearly wish I had her aptitude for learning languages!
And another little anecdote
Last year I had been discussing this scene on social media on my tablet or phone. A couple of weeks later I was writing something quite unrelated on it and started typing the word “Scottish”, at which point to my delight the autocomplete function offered me “Scottish perfecto”!
That would have amused Dorothy no end!